unsatisfying

Every now and then I just have to play up a bit in local.  Mr Studley was flipped while jetcanning veldspar in a Retriever in hisec, and took umbrage.  Honestly, is there no depth to which people will sink to scratch together a living.

StudleyManiac > only target I have in local is a damn can flipper
Vasilissa Dragomere > i have no targets in local
Silent Shaz > o/
StudleyManiac > who should be ashamed
Silent Shaz > oh don’t be like that
Hermann Salza > Hallo Silent
madhatta18 > yeah blimmin flippers
Silent Shaz > I hung around to let you shoot me and all
madhatta18 > darn shame the npc cant get them for it
madhatta18 > lol
StudleyManiac > and what did I do?
StudleyManiac > gtfo
Silent Shaz > clever
Silent Shaz > I’m new at this so I don’t really know how to properly psyche people into shooting me
StudleyManiac > nope smart… you did the clever thing and baited
madhatta18 > dont engage a flipper thats what thay want
Silent Shaz > I’m introducing a mate to the world of eve, and can flipping is part of eve’s rich pageant :D
Vasilissa Dragomere > im new to eve only been playing for 3 weeks but no ones ever shown me how to can flip
Silent Shaz > studley will show you
StudleyManiac > nope
StudleyManiac > you flip a can from me you can keep it
Vasilissa Dragomere > lol my alliance and corp frown apon such things lol
Silent Shaz > nah I felt bad, I left the can there in the belt for you

I really thought he might go back and nick it.  He didn’t. For shame.

StudleyManiac > and why?
StudleyManiac > would your aliance frown upon it?
Silent Shaz > I hear it can be a rich source of tears and entertainment for all
StudleyManiac > entertainment I can see…. but tears hmmmm
StudleyManiac > you get flipped let it go
Silent Shaz > or… seek revenge in manly rifter-retriever combat
StudleyManiac > move on to a different belt but you do get a window to kill the flipper
madhatta18 > true
Silent Shaz > flippers deserve death by boat violence
StudleyManiac > time for more alcohol
madhatta18 > but by the time you get a ship to doit thay prob run
Silent Shaz > maybe, but you can get lucky and get a dumb one that will hang around

Just throwing back the small ones so they grow into big ones for later catching.

StudleyManiac > yes they are like whale s** you can’t get any lower than that
Silent Shaz > awww
Silent Shaz > cluttering up the belts with cans like that, someone could get their ship dented
StudleyManiac > no worries … this is just a game
madhatta18 > and i dont want to scratch my custom paint job
Silent Shaz > aye it is :) well played to you sir

I was prepared to go to bed about now.  Mr Studley had different ideas.

StudleyManiac > you want to make your imaginary penis bigger go ahead and flip me go ahead… My penis is big enough for me
madhatta18 > nah cant got war targets floating around
Silent Shaz > wait, didn’t you just say it’s a game? aren’t flippers just playing a game too?
Silent Shaz > suddenly it’s about penises?
madhatta18 > yes
StudleyManiac > yes…
madhatta18 > its a dangerous living thou
StudleyManiac > yours is too small so you have to compensate
Silent Shaz > lol
madhatta18 > lol
Vasilissa Dragomere > hello again
Silent Shaz > MY HONOUR IS BESMIRCHED. I DEMAND SINGLE COMBAT TO SETTLE THIS INSULT.
Vasilissa Dragomere > okay but u shoot first
madhatta18 > lol
StudleyManiac > you’re a can flipper you have no honour
Vasilissa Dragomere > all i said was hello again lmao
Silent Shaz > ARE YOU A MAN OR A FEMALE IMPERSONATOR, STUDLEY (IF THAT IS INDEED YOUR REAL NAME)
madhatta18 > who uses there real name here ????

Wtf?

StudleyManiac > nope my real name is Maniac…. and I do have a penis
Vasilissa Dragomere > I dont :(

I presume Vasilissa is referring to not using their real name, but it could well be an unconfirmed sighting of a genuine girl.

StudleyManiac > short but it sitll does the job
Silent Shaz > WILL YOU NOT BACK YOUR COWARDLY WORDS WITH DEEDS?
madhatta18 > i fail to see what that has to do with a fame lol
StudleyManiac > silent do know where the cap lock key is?
Vasilissa Dragomere > I didn’t realise I was using cowardly words
madhatta18 > hahahaha
Silent Shaz > I am outraged, that’s my outraged voice
madhatta18 > nice
Vasilissa Dragomere > okay ill stop now its been fun though lol
madhatta18 > this is so funny
StudleyManiac > thanks for my 15 minutes of fame I will die realizing I have achieved perfection
Silent Shaz > YOU HURL INSULTS AND ASPERSIONS, AND HIDE IN YOUR STATION BEHIND CONCORD. THAT IS NOT THE ACT OF A MAN
madhatta18 > cool np
madhatta18 > its been an entertaining local chat lol
Silent Shaz > STUDLEY, YOU AND YOUR CORP WILL HENCEFORTH BE BRANDED COWARDS UNTIL THIS MATTER IS SETTLED

OK I read ninja blogs. Get over it.

StudleyManiac > man/woman… what is difference (besides one in an innie and the other an outie)?
StudleyManiac > silent what issues do you have with me? my alliance would like to know
Kimaeha Jeremin > Lols… Space-Diplomacy 101.
StudleyManiac > hmmmm where are the skillbooks for that
Silent Shaz > NONE BUT YOUR UNJUSTIFIED INSULTS TO MY HONOUR AS A HARDWORKING CLEARER OF UNANCHORED BELT CANS
Kimaeha Jeremin > You don’t need skillbooks for “run like a girl”
Vasilissa Dragomere > I would just like to ask are there any real life females in local?
madhatta18 > is there a skill books for cvan flipping ?
madhatta18 > if so where can i get one
StudleyManiac > yes it is named AssHole 101
Vasilissa Dragomere > I havn’t met any on eve besides me yet and its getting pretty boring talking to the guys about how big there guns are lmao
madhatta18 > and whats it pay a day
Silent Shaz > AND STILL YOU INSULT, AND STILL YOU HIDE, AND STILL YOU REFUSE MY CHALLENGE

Come on…

Vasilissa Dragomere > It’s just lucky i like big guns
Vasilissa Dragomere > and i would say killing ppl but all i do is die lmao
madhatta18 > nah forget it ill rather work for my iskies nothing wose than beeing a can rat
StudleyManiac > silent …. no challenge… I don’t PVP

Boooom headshot. Dammit, he’s gonna punk out.

Vasilissa Dragomere > now now mad no need for such language lmao
Silent Shaz > THEN HOLD YOUR COWARDLY TONGUE SIR
Vasilissa Dragomere > what penis vs penis?????
Kimaeha Jeremin > No, Vasilissa… “Cowardly Tongue…”
StudleyManiac > my bad was just trying to let the community know what you were up to
Vasilissa Dragomere > no i ment pvp?
Kimaeha Jeremin > Oh. Nevermind :)
Vasilissa Dragomere > im blonde i do admit that lol
madhatta18 > this is interesting we actually have amusing convos in local
Vasilissa Dragomere > sorry kind of new at the game lol
Silent Shaz > Thank you for spreading the massage that cluttering belts with cans is a sociopathic activity
StudleyManiac > sorry the sun is up and I have to contiinue drinkiing….
Kimaeha Jeremin > That makes too much sense …
Silent Shaz > FAREWELL
StudleyManiac > adious
Silent Shaz > PEOPLE OF [REDACTED], YOUR CANS ARE SAFE WITH ME

Woulda been better ending with a kill. Either way. Ah well.

In hindsight, I should have challenged him to combat in an industrial. I’m going to fit a Battle Mammoth specially for future opportunities.

I am a noob… apparently

I thought it was about time to get some rep up so that I can access L4 agents for locator purposes.  As it happens, my buddy Brep is running L4’s at the moment in Gallente space, so I packed up a few ships and spare ammo and pirating fits and moved on over.

So there I am in a Level 2, farming rep with Bruce in his Jag and Shaz in a salvage Cyclone, when eelp turns up in the mission in a Heron.  Hello, this mission just got interesting!

He starts sidling up to one of my unlooted wrecks, quite obviously getting ready to flip me.  Well sir, I have a little surprise for you.  Both Shaz and Bruce made a beeline for him in readiness.

Just… JUST as he went flashy and I was ready to spring the trap, the missus walked into the room and grabbed my attention about something or another.  It was one of those things that you’re supposed to take seriously, and I simply couldn’t manage two accounts in PvP while giving the appropriate level of concerned nodding.  Something had to give, and I missed the tackle after evaporating the Heron’s shields.  Without the distraction I would have been able to switch to Hail, sic Shaz’s Tech II drones on him and scram him good, earning a nice Heron killmail.  C’est la vie.

Of course, as soon as he warped out, the missus stomped off at my inability to immediately drop everything I was doing and give her my full attention with no notice.  My bad.  Ah well, I bet eelp will be back in something tasty now that he has aggression from Bruce.  Best clean up these wrecks so he doesn’t extend aggro all night.

Lo and behold, he turns up about ten minutes later (really?  Did he have to buy and fit something specially?) in a Brutix, probably fitted something like this.  Well I’m not stupid, and I like choosing my battles rather than having them dictated to me, so I finished salvaging and warped off.  Laughing, I convoed him.

Shaz: o/
eelp: run run as fast as you can
Shaz: get anything nice? :)
eelp: noob (close convo)

Awwww, poor widdle flipper got cross that I didn’t stick around to be shot at by his slow-ass battlecruiser, and he wasted an hour to get one wreck’s worth of level 2 loot and almost lose his Heron.  The fact that he’d warped his own Heron out of a fight he couldn’t win was lost on him, though he expected a PvE Assault Frigate and a salvage-fitted Cyclone should do the honourable thing and stick around to be pwned by a ship specifically designed to do so.  Erm, no.  Noob things I could have done:

• Shot him before he flipped, resulting in concordokken
• Left wrecks in the site, allowing him to extend aggro
• Tried to dock with an aggression timer
• Lost the fight to the Heron (for that, I would have had the word noob tramp-stamped on my arse)
• Um… tried to fight him, resulting in a dead Cyclone and a warped-off Brutix

Hope your next flip target is stupider than me eelp.  You can’t play a playa :)