Choo Choo! All Aboard the Fail Train

Posted: 2010/08/25 by evilsilents in Activities
Tags: , , ,

My intersection system wasn’t turning up any interesting targets, so I moved to the nearest lowsec to see what was up.  Bruce went ahead in his cloaky to check out the scene, while Shaz brought up the rear in her shiny new PvP fit Cyclone.  Lowsec right?  A den of scum and villainy?

I have never seen this particular system empty, but tonight it was.  Not shaping up to be a productive evening – when all of a sudden, I got a new spike in local.  Good evening Lipena.  How lovely to see you.  Now, let’s see what you’re up to.

Bruce quickly pinpointed her at a belt using my new 7-probe technique which I’m liking a great deal.  Imagine 2 x 0.5AU probes offset from each other by about 0.4AU, with that dual blob surrounded by a 1AU probe, itself surrounded by 4 x 4AU probes in a cross.  It’s hard to describe, but it gets 100% locks on destroyers and small indies without resizing.  Quality.

So Ms Lipena was happily bashing rats in a Thrasher.  Bruce warped to 50 to check out the scene, but was decloaked by a rock on landing.  Fail.  Lipena seemed not to notice, which sparked my curiosity and an info check.  Ah bollocks – 8 days old.  Damn me and my principles.  Still – the guy has balls, ratting in lowsec solo in a Thrasher at 8 days of age, in an NPC corp.  Or maybe he just doesn’t know any better.  Should I… educate?

Shaz was still a couple of jumps away picking up ammo, so Bruce followed the prey from belt to belt.  By the time Shaz arrived, Local had spiked to Lipena plus two and the system was getting more interesting.  Shaz jumped in, immediately warped to the target belt and with my heart thumping I got my very first security penalty with a textbook tackle.  Thanks Uni, the training paid off.

I was within seconds settled into a tight orbit around my prey, scrammed and webbed, though weapons cold for now.  I wanted to chat.  Opening the window, I commenced a delightful conversation with a very polite gent which went roughly like this:

Me: Hi there
Him: Hi
Me: I guess you’ve realised you’re in a bit of trouble
Him: Really?
(oh, playing innocent are we?)
Me: Are you new?
Him: Check the info, employment history

Yes you guessed it, I convoed the wrong guy.   A CEO of an Ushra’Khan corp.  Who proceeded to piss himself laughing when I told him what was happening.

Choo choo.

Er, ok.  Convo the correct guy.  Who by now is firing on me unprovoked – the guy either has balls of solid steel or brains of solid steel.  One salvo from the Cyclone’s guns put him into armour, and I left it at that while sorting my chat fail – he was barely tickling my tank.

Me: Hi there
Lipena: Hi
Me: are you new?
Lipena: yeah
Me: OK, normally I would have killed you but I just wanted the tackle practice.

More firing, goddammit.  Another salvo from the Cyclone and he was in deep structure.  The big guns fell silent, the peashooters not.

Me: So, be careful ratting in lowsec, there are pirates about ;)
Lipena: OK
Me: enjoy your evening o/

Still under fire, I warped Shaz out.  Shortly afterwards, Bruce watched as Lipena streaked off for the highsec gate, trailing a plume of fire from the ship he probably put every cent into.  I been there my friend.  You may hate me now, but you will remember that lesson.

I later probed Mr U’K down in a Primae.  Goodness but I wanted that kill, but he proved slippery and warped off just before Shaz landed :(

On the positive side, I got my first sec hit and nailed a very nice tackle if I do say so myself, plus had a hilarious night and picked up some 0.4 salvage.  This pirate crap is awesome!


  1. Oh man, that was gold :)

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